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Friday, March 27, 2009

10 Things a Guy Doesn't Want to Find in Your Room

By A.J. Llewellyn

Lemondrop ran an interesting item this week about the 10 things a guy doesn't want to find in your room. It's a semi-cool list and I agree with many of them - such as condom wrappers in the trash, dozens of stuffed animals in the room, photos with your ex and, the bible on the nightstand but I can do better than this.
As a gay man who hears it from both sides - both the scary things my mates find and the embarrassing things women confess they do, so in the interest of romance (hey I write romances, remember) I'd like to present my top 1o things A Guy Doesn't Want to Find in Your Room:
10. Forget the condom wrappers...what about the used condoms? Eeeww!
9. More than a few macabre photos of horrific things such as lynchings. My mate Tony saw these in a woman's bedroom. She said it was research, but he took my advice and ran for the frickin' hills.
8. Sharp, lethal objects mounted and lovingly displayed on the walls
7. Empty booze bottles spilling out of the waste basket
6. Unflushed 'floaters' in your toilet
5. Anything to do with 'The Secret' such as those stupid million dollar checks made out to yourself posted on your wall and 'intention boards' with the word 'husband' pasted on it
4. Canned hunting photos of you and some poor, drugged, dazed endangered critter
3. The Encyclopedia of Auto erotic Asphyxiation as bedtime reading next to a roll of duct tape (this actually happened)
2. A gigantic boat-sized dildo that's um...obviously been used. If you know what I mean...
1. My boyfriend Herve. He's mine. MINE!

What about you? What don't YOU want to see in a guy/girl's room?

Aloha oe,

A.J.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Nine said...

When I was very young, naive and just coming out as gay I slept with a guy who managed to convince me not to use a condom.

In the morning, as I was getting dressed, I spotted what looked like a medicine bottle on one of his shelves. I read the label as AZT.

I freaked.

Turned out they were "A to Z" vitamins.